May 2013
12 posts
May 25th
213 notes
May 25th
133 notes
May 25th
848 notes
May 18th
304 notes
yaoibutts: i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.” like what stupid frenchman saw this: and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!” :D :D //
May 14th
90,050 notes
May 13th
66 notes
May 13th
16 notes
May 13th
73,488 notes
My best friend texted me, he asked if I looked...
the-soul-that-lives-within: jasminehun: omg this is so asdfghjkl; *10 seconds of feels*. okay, I’m good man… is this true? because…….beautiful! //
May 13th
205,245 notes
if the universe is everything there is, you can’t have two versions of it. Otherwise the pair would really be everything and what you started of calling the universe wasn’t
May 6th
hatred.
Hatred is like a long, dark shadow. Not even the person it falls upon knows where it comes from, in most cases. It is like a two-edged sword. When you cut the other person, you cut yourself. The more violently you hack at the other person, the more violently you hack at yourself. It can often be fatal. But it is not easy to dispose of. Please be careful. It is very dangerous. Once it has taken...
May 1st
2 notes
Friendship
Being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.
May 1st
3 notes
April 2013
22 posts
kittykatastrophic: marina-del-cyrus: Whenever I get period cramps I have never seen something so accurate in all my life… //
Apr 30th
109,032 notes
“Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on...”
– Anais Nin
Apr 30th
1 note
chimerism
This is a DNA thing. Some of us probably had twinsies in the womb, then we ate them because that’s what happens when moms watch horror movies. Here’s the thing, when you eat your twin, you absorb it’s DNA. It gets weirder, in ‘02 some lady had to claim some welfare in the USA and since she had to prove the three babies were hers, she found out they weren’t. She had...
Apr 30th
Commitments
I cannot have a man who is afraid of everything, I don’t have the time to soothe insecurities and fears of a grown ass man. I cannot have a man who is  just a relationship spectator, because he’s scared if he tries too hard he might be forced into commitments. A man who just over-analyzes everything. “Oh look, she scares me, I wonder what she meant when she...
Apr 30th
“Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you...”
– George Carlin
Apr 30th
Anonymous asked: How Reproductive are u
Apr 28th
1 note
-_-
There must be a few times in life when you stand at a precipice of a decision. When you know there will forever be a Before and an After… I knew there would be no turning back if I designated this moment as my own Prime Meridian from which everything else would be measured. I chose to stop going to church. And now, I never know how to react to “I’m praying for you Emy.”...
Apr 28th
good morning..
“what do i want??? tea. just tea,.  black. like my soul.”
Apr 28th
Apr 28th
658 notes
I’m more reproductive at night… hahah! i mean, productive.
Apr 28th
1 note
coffee.
“I don’t really like coffee,”  she said, “but I don’t really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.”
Apr 28th
Apr 26th
549 notes
feminists.
The quick way of working out if you’re a feminist. Put your hand in your pants. a) Do you have a vagina? and b) Do you want to be in charge of it? If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.
Apr 25th
7 notes
1 tag
“I don’t want to screw you. I just love you. When did who you want to screw...”
– 
Apr 25th
11 notes
Falling in love IS as much about receiving as it is giving, is it? It seems selfish. It is not, though. It is the opposite. Keeping oneself from being loved is to refuse the ultimate gift. “…………….She had thought herself done with romantic love. She had thought herself an incurable cynic. She was not, though. she was only someone whose heart and mind, and very...
Apr 24th
2 notes
If I ever have kids, and they waste what I offer them, Or are upset they don’t get enough, I won’t tell them that people are starving in North eastern Kenya or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they have what I can provide. I will not give them less either. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that we...
Apr 24th
“It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record...”
Apr 18th
3 notes
Talents.
I don’t have a talent. I can’t even describe what talents are. it’s just one of those things that I never really bothered with. So, it’s pretty weird when I argued with someone earlier who believes EVERYONE is talented, if they searched hard enough through their “souls?” So, I asked him what I was talented in and he said, “er…….. it’s in...
Apr 17th
“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down...”
– - Stephen King
Apr 15th
“why make people inquisitive, and then put some forbidden fruit where they can...”
– 
Apr 15th
2 notes
Text messaging;
it’s crazy trying to decode texts. I over-think and over-analyze shit. I get a text from a dude saying “Hi.” and think.. “what is wrong with this guy? HI??? just Hi??? He expects me to waste my airtime by replying “hi” back.. If I add anything he’ll think stuff. what? he’ll think I’m giving a vibe. I don’t want to give him ideas.....
Apr 14th
“It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man...”
– coco Chanel
Apr 14th
3 notes
March 2013
3 posts
Mar 27th
“I’ll take 6 mugs of coffee for this loyal penises.”
– emy
Mar 27th
“I’m more wound up than a monkey who’s scared of heights.”
– 
Mar 27th
February 2013
4 posts
Feb 26th
52,297 notes
Feb 20th
83 notes
I don't even want sex...
thememyheartknows: I want intimacy.. someone to hold. someone to know that my love for them would be unrelinquished.  ……..for them to hold me; and to know the same about their love for me.  intimacy and unrelinquished love. 
Feb 20th
311 notes
Feb 19th
January 2013
2 posts
of burning bushes.
Nope…this has nothing to do with the book of Exodus, though I might post a few commandments. This post has everything to do with banging bareback, avoid burning bushes by putting on your sandals gaddamit! I’m posting this because some lady came to our office and she did the most disgusting thing you can ever think of, she scratched. I know. i know. I didn’t shake her hand or lend...
Jan 28th
the urban dictionary.
so, i uhm.. checked out the meaning of my name in the urban dictionary, yes… all i got was “What the fuck is a Wanza do you mean Jawanza??” 1): So, i typed in, Emily. and OMG! Isn’t the urban dictionary oh so nice to me and stuff. Apparently, Emilys (Emilies??) have beautiful eye. (nope, it’s short eyes.) She always hides what she feels and puts on a happy smile....
Jan 24th
November 2012
4 posts
Men!!! via Glamour Mag
Men love barbeque, they’ll cook if danger is involved. Marrying married men is economical, ecological and environmentally friendly. it’s good to recycle. Matters of sports, men think if they concentrate hard enough, they can help their teams. If the team is in trouble, they coach from the sofa, and woman, get off the phone in case they call him for help! Men like phones with lots...
Nov 25th
“Sometimes I imagine Morgan Freeman with a kickass grey ponytail. Other times I...”
– - wanza ]]>
Nov 16th
Nov 1st
3 notes
“Is the the fact that life exists at all proof that God or the universe hates...”
– chuck Loore.
Nov 1st
1 note
October 2012
4 posts
So She Spoke: Day 287: It's the little things. →
soshespoke: I am so stubborn in the things I believe will make me happy. I am a simple girl. Yes I truly am. Beneath all this emotional uncertainness, the insecurities, the lack of direction in how to get my future, it’s the small things that make me happy. Sunday afternoons hanging out with friends. A 2 hr…
Oct 15th
2 notes
bobbysyoks asked: Anything -: )
Oct 15th
1 note
No harm, no foul.
So, after watching the video where this young lady argued with a bus driver and it got so heated up he got up from his seat and uppercut her, I couldn’t help but wonder what the girl did for revenge. You will not hit me and get away with it, NO! I’m that kind of girl, who will argue with a dude and if he really gets into my nerves, chances are I’ll make him want to smack a bitch...
Oct 15th
4 notes